Are you looking at me?

Have you ever felt like people immediately notice a feature that you’re very self-conscious about and you start adjusting your body language?

When a woman orders a session with me, I ask her what she loves about herself. I want to know what to focus on. I also ask about the things she doesn’t like so much. It’s interesting to have these conversations. It’s an opportunity to explain that the reason why some features look worse in photographs is just because some lenses distort them, perhaps the light was bad, or the angle. Photographs are not perfect representations of reality.

I understand what it feels like to have a certain feature showing too much when in your eyes it’s something you’d rather not have. Whenever I see myself on video, I don’t enjoy looking at myself. I immediately think about how awful my teeth look, despite the fact that I don’t even have a desire to have the so-called “American” smile. I like it when people have some little imperfection, I find it cute. But when it comes to my own, I don’t enjoy showing them too much. The realization I came to thanks to my clients:

Whatever it is that you’re so uncomfortably conscious of, the chances are that people don’t even notice.

Why? Because they are all thinking about their nose, teeth, lips, hips,… you name it.

I know that reading this won’t make your issues go away. It’s quite natural to feel insecure sometimes, usually in the presence of people we perceive as more beautiful. What you should know is that whoever those people are, most likely they have their own issues and are too busy thinking about them.

And if you look hard enough, you’ll find things about yourself that are gorgeous – like an amazingly shaped earlobe, cute toes, elegant knees, your long neck, defined lips, great pale skin, your hair, eyes etc. Those are the things worth accentuating.

We all have such features and I love discovering them and showing them to their rightful owners who often forget about them and focus on something that others ignore. Show yourself some love today, you deserve it.